Charlie Chaplin Ate My Son

I was performing on the street with an open case of money When a fella stumbled over, started looking at me funny He tipped his hat and then he asked if I could learn a song Told him sure but walk me through so I don't get it wrong I started getting nerves cause when he came to me and asked He was mumbling his words and had a finger in his ass But he gave me his money and I asked him how it goes Then he got up on the stage and started putting on a show To hell with Lillian Gish Cause unlike Greta Garbo she was such a bitch Buster Keaton's still my number one Cause John Gilbert's dead and Charlie Chaplin ate my son I said that's quite a song you got I think it's rather catchy But the energy is down and the lyric's a bit sketchy He raised his voice and promised me that it would be a hit It would dominate the airwaves and be groovy with the kids I was havin high doubts cause the references were dated But I looked down at my money and my piggy bank's deflated He handed me a contract, told me you can have the song But if you change the words the life you livin won't be very long Took it to the studio and started getting to it Made sure every lick was perfect every lyric was included A couple hours passed, before I knew it it was printed Then it started selling copies which I wouldn't have predicted To hell with Lillian Gish Cause unlike Greta Garbo she was such a bitch Buster Keaton's still my number one Cause John Gilbert's dead and Charlie Chaplin ate my son It started selling millions I became a household name Now the title of the song is probably written on my grave I couldn't help but feel like the man was somewhat cheated Although he handed me the song and told me I could keep it I decidedly invited him to join me at my show Said he'd walk out on the stage and I'd commend him for his notes Said here he is now, the man who put it all together He's the writer of the song and deserves a little pleasure After all the fanfare and the man was introduced Just halfway across the stage he stepped and tripped over his shoe The crowd all sat in terror as they gazed upon the truth He was Rudolph Valentino in an old skinsuit To hell with Lillian Gish Cause unlike Greta Garbo she was such a bitch Buster Keaton's still my number one Cause John Gilbert's dead and Charlie Chaplin ate my son