growing pains (feat. Giovanni & Boyfifty)

(B-B-Boyfity)

I should fucking give up, and then call my life a loss

Got a bigger salary, but I don't feel like I'm a boss

Money means nothing, you know you gotta find some self love

Everything I fucking did, it made me feel like

I don't ever wanna grow so old

But it's got me a way and I feel so afraid of myself

Tie the rope and hang myself

When I was 16, almost died from an OD

21, I fucking tried to do the same thing

22, I wanna fucking do the same thing

Eliminate my brainwaves, through my fucking skull

How I live in California, but I'm always fucking cold?

How I say I hate the beach, but I'll never leave the coast?

How I act like I'm improving, but I never wanna grow?

How I talk about my love for you, but never really show

Love?

Don't know anymore if Imma blow up

Dreams were so naive, and now my soul's crushed

Socially inept, feel like a robot

Programmed to defect until I smoke up

Isolate myself

Don't know why my friends still stick around, I would've bailed

Always think there's something wrong with me

It's getting hard to tell

But the temperature keeps rising, and I'll burn until I melt

And I'll wash off the blood on my hands from October

I talked to the devil, we danced, and I told her

I love you to pieces, don't cry, it's not over

I'll see you again, when were done playing sober

17 and still wonder if I'm insane cause

Shit just don't feel the same, yeah

My head is tragic and I'm used to being in pain, yeah

I make a fool out of myself and then complain, yeah

Why do I rush the end?

You were my only friend

At least I thought you were

(Thought you were)

Was it just all pretend?

You got me fucked up

Well, I'm fucked up

Slide in my head

They try to tell me that I'm not enough

So I redress

I put my training shoes on, throw on a silver lining

Around my neck and screw off, the ones that hate my writing

I'll put up on a T-shirt

Probably says "Fuck my teachers"

Now I'm a dancing clown

And call myself a leader

(And call myself a leader)