A Real Man

Hands up for Father God

Face away from me

Hands up for Father God, Brad

Please don't do this, please don't do this

When I was a child I spake as a child

I understood as a child

I thought as a child

But when I became a man I put away childish things

A real man doesn't have idle hands

A real man doesn't jack off

A real man lives by the masters commands

Not like a pig scarfing from the trough

A real man practices self-control

To keep his morals aligned

A real man keeps a clean body, soul, and mind

I don't deserve this, Pastor, I was just trying to-

A real man takes every lash he gets

A real man has a thick skin

A real man learns from all his regrets

So that he'll never have them again

A real man walks on the narrow path

A path the savior has trod

A real man molds himself after Father God

I'm whipping you son 'cause I love you

I'm whipping you son 'cause I care

I'm whipping the hell out you now

To keep your soul from going there

Don't let Satan deceive you

He will try every trick

So keep your eyes turned to heaven

And keep your hands off of your dick

It was lusting after your mother that gave you birth, Brad

I thank Father God for bringing Dawn into my life to correct that mistake

Yes Pastor, I'm sorry Pastor

Amen, Amen

Truthseekers can you hear me, can you feel my pain?

Yeah Truthseeker, but you gotta do something about Dawn, she;'s who's really causing all this pain

Seriously, Truthseeker, Dawn is why your masculinity is vibrating in the goddamn toilet right now

Maybe Dawn is actually the real man in the family

Shut up

A real man shakes off his father's lies

A real man makes his own way

A real man sees the world with cold eyes

In black and white and in predator and prey

A real man takes all his years of rage and unleashes them mercilessly

'Cause it's Dawn who deserves retribution

Not me