If I (feat. Drea D'nur)

K asked me for a pair of Givenchy last night I considered it

I spend whatever on whatever as a substitute for me not visiting

And my mother getting older she say we used to be closer I just laugh on

Cause the distance has grown the inches I've known I'm better alone

Made promises to Mama, she passed on

I ain't got no coke fiend raps

I ain't got no we was busting the throttle I ain't go through that

I speak to hearts I wreak of art nah I ain't post you back

I ain't social I keep my distance

I'm only consistent with those that I've been with

Who knows if I meant it you chose to forget when

I said I was damaged but I still could manage

I break hearts and then I reprimand it

I pray to God cause I'm not understanded

If I should die before I may arrive where I'm supposed

I pray my heart is pure as well my soul

Cause this the life I chose

Look, I ain't know no one that went to college so I did

Better use of time if I took mine raising a kid

Little cousins getting older every time I'm from a trip

They may fuck up on my name but they remember what I did

Try to remember why I'm here shedding who I was I'm so sick of shedding tears

Tell me why you're here I haven't known you many years

So you don't know how much I'm fearing going broke

It's not I can't do this again it's just I'm doing it with a pole

Well I suppose it's what I know I'm from the ghetto like a O

I'll never sell it for my soul, fork that's in the road

I'm having dinner with my close friends let's make a toast

Chose bread over dead for those I know arrive in Ghost

Look shit a liability I want the profit

I pray my soul the world'll know I truly got it honest

And if I die before I make em see that I was great

I pray my soul the world'll know before I levitate

If I should die before I may arrive where I'm supposed

I pray my heart is pure as well my soul

Cause this the life I chose

Around Koons where my family live stop at the church

Life moving so much with this shit I need a word

Real pro so I know where to go before a verb

At least that's what my grandmother said whatever word

Mind thinking bout how I'm concerned you know the nerve

Me here with my sins this shit what I deserve

Lucky you even here know the blessed are still the cursed

Here stressed older woman my left looking concerned

What's the problem lady? She said here's what I learned

Could fake strength daily but weak ends if not discerned

You don't know me please keep your two cent for those in need

And plus I am high tryin keep myself at ease

A little nosey yeah it's from a good place

But they ain't have these **** or this designer when she was my age

And lord as I am chasing all of this money I pray that there's still grace

I'm hoping I'm doing the right shit my cousin them need they rent paid

If I should die before I may arrive where I'm supposed

I pray my heart is pure as well my soul

Cause this the life I chose