The Ballad of Johnny O'Bales

Now have you heard tell about Johnny O'Bales

Whose pick hit rich silver in the high Owyhees

He filled up his britches with his newly found riches

And never a word about the claim he would speak

But chatter then soon filled up the saloons

And many a poor man rushed to the creek

Stage, horse, hike, or swim—those miners poured in

Then signed the new trail as "Silver City"

But one man stood out from the boozers and louts

That one pompous mucker named Johnny O'Bales

Who took quite a-fancy to the wealth in his pants

So he sold off his claimstake and rode into town

But the town had no bank in the wake of the stakes

So that brassy young mick with his head full of booze

Wrapped up his life's earnings and tied off the purse strings

Then stashed the deposit up in his caboose

He walked high and mighty with the ore in his hiney

Cloaked in new trousers and a shirt made in France

The townsfolk thought queer when the lad would step near

And a rough jingle-jangle a-rang from his pants

He never thought proper to extend the offer

Of whiskey for man or apple for horse

The cunny young bloke would grin as he spoke

With a token of Jordan saved in his arse

Then one night he rambled in the bars where they gambled

And spoke of that quarry of rich silver ore

He uncorked the whiskey which rendered him frisky

And whispered the setting in the ear of a whore

The tankered young Johnny bid farewell to the bonny

And stopped by the dunny to give up a poop

When he bolstered his rump there came a loud 'plump'

And the bundle of silver fell down the chute

He managed to squeeze through the hole in the seat

And recovered the bag from the muck to his knees

But he could not get free up through the wood seat

So he called for the mortals of Silver City

There came a few miners who heard the stuck whiner

And when they soon learned of the cause of his fate

Each miner said fellow, before out of this shit hole—

Then you'll hand up your bounty of rich silver ore

And Johnny O'Bales picked the silver no more