141 ½

I ain’t been aight for some time

Mama she would drink til she desensitized

He’d be argumentative make a point of some kind

The exchange between the two would leave me boiling inside

Whenever their was beef shell retreat to the couch

There’s always beef so ill retreat from the house

Can’t express in words my deep rooted disdain

Gradually I became the hate that hate made.

He tries to the play role when he talk I don’t listen

Don’t do too much to hide from us his porno addiction

The infidelity started when I was like 9

Cuz mama chased em down with a axe that one time

Oh yes as a youth I was an observant young man

Did some underhanded shit wit one of her gfs

Can’t express in words my deep rooted disdain

Gradually I become the hate that hate made

Puberty done hit now I’m wayyyy to Blount

Slapped me crossed the face to discipline me once

Fist balled Fkn steamin how badly my ear rung

fuck a step I wouldn’t slap my biological son

I kept it with me for a min never forgot that hurt

By 17 im nice wit these so the tables had turned

I’s able to express that deep rooted disdain

Gradually I became the hate that hate made

Hed constantly remind mom she’s a bitch

She’d talk me off the ledge I had to live wit that shit

She’d tell me hold yo tongue son mind what you do u

We’ll thug it out til this here section 8 come through

I bought my first bucket wit my FAFSA check

I gotta do better I believe u had said

Can’t express in words my deep rooted disdain

Gradually I became the hate that hate made

I was shaped and molded by the music he’d play

And got the same shit in rotation til this day

He Put me onto some flick’s some classic ones

Most I gradually introduced to my son

was Mad af they had me working with em some days

Whole time he’s ushering me into his trade

Occupying crawlspaces at age 11

I’m in the pest control industry an invaluable lesson

Ain’t do much often, once he took me to fish

Shared a couple moments though we never caught shit

We’d rap amongst each other only thing made us smile

mad man, broken woman and a bitter ass child,

Dysfunctionality in all caps far from civil

And when we got into it that time I kno u held back a lil

And in case you never heard me say it since I’ve been grown

Alls forgiven the only father I’ve ever known