One Night Stand

Well, I got home this morning and everything was gone

The only thing she left me were the clothes that I got on

Yeah, we used to fuss and fight, but I never thought it'd come to this

So I did what any broke guy would and do jumped on Craigslist

Said I need a couch and a fridge and a mattress

Could you help an old boy out, if you have it

Yeah, I need a lamp, shower curtain, and a microwave

I don't need the whole table, just a TV tray

If you got one laying around

I'll take anything that makes a sound

She took all the records and the player too

If it works, that'll work, it ain't gotta be new

Since she's gone, I don't need one on each side of the bed

No, I just need one night stand

Yeah, I just need one night stand

Well, I got a call from a guy, said he just saw my ad

Said he threw his Lay-Z-Boy in the alley, so I made a mad dash

On my way to pick it up, I got a random text from a lady

She said, I just saw your post, my husband's supposed

To leave the house around eight-ish

I thought, oh, no, this ain't good

Poor old gal must've misunderstood

I just need a couch and a fridge and a mattress

Could you help an old boy out, if you have it

Yeah, I need some soap, shampoo, and some cutlery

Man, the whole damn house could use potpourri

If there's anything cool in your basement

Chances are, man, I got space for it

And if you got a Big Mouth Billy Bass I can talk to

Man, you oughta let me help you out

I can take it off your hands

Yeah, I just need one night stand

Yeah, I just need one night stand

Man, I just need all this stuff

'Cause I'm about to start my life without her

I just wish that I'd quit gettin' all these pop-ups

From casual encounters, yeah

'Cause I just need a couch and a fridge and a mattress

Could you help an old boy out, if you have it

Yeah, I need a lamp, shower curtain, and a microwave

I don't need the whole table, just a TV tray

If you got one laying around

I'll take anything that makes a sound

She took all the records and the player too

If it works, that'll work, it ain't gotta be new

Since she's gone, I don't need one on each side of the bed

No, I just need one night stand

Yeah, I just need one night stand

Somewhere I can put this yellow lava lamp

Yeah, I just need one night stand