Poisoning Pigeons in the Park

Spring is here, a-suh-puh-ring is here

Life is skittles and life is beer

I think the loveliest time of the year is the spring

I do, don't you? 'Course you do

But there's one thing that makes spring complete for me

And makes every Sunday a treat for me

All the world seems in tune on a spring afternoon

When we're poisoning pigeons in the park

Every Sunday you'll see my sweetheart and me

As we poison the pigeons in the park

When they see us coming

The birdies all try an' hide

But they still go for peanuts

When coated with cyanide

The sun's shining bright

Everything seems all right

When we're poisoning pigeons in the park

We've gained notoriety and caused much anxiety

In the Audubon Society with our games

They call it impiety and lack of propriety

And quite a variety of unpleasant names

But it's not against any religion

To want to dispose of a pigeon

So if Sunday you're free, why don't you come with me?

And we'll poison the pigeons in the park

And maybe we'll do in a squirrel or two

While we're poisoning pigeons in the park

We'll murder them all amid laughter and merriment

Except for the few we take home to experiment

My pulse will be quickenin' with each drop of strych'nine

We feed to a pigeon

(It just takes a smidgin!)

To poison a pigeon in the park