But why was I so sad?

Why did I feel so terrible when I was 14?

Why was my heart empty?

It's about my childhood

How the four-year-old son constantly yearns for his father

And how the father promises the four-year-old son that they will be together

But in the end, he always lets him down, wounding the unwitting son's heart

This has had an impact on me

And as a child, I wasn't even aware of it

I began to realize this at the age of 12, 13

When I began to understand myself more

I felt such a great emptiness inside me

I missed that love and felt guilty

I had the feeling that I was stupid, lousy, and miserable

And that I'm not capable of anything and that it's all my fault

I felt insignificant and unworthy

I thought that I was not worthy and good enough

To receive love and be loved by someone

And that's why I thought, why me, why I was born

And why do I feel so terrible?

I wanted to die

I was angry with my father and even more angry with myself

But inside I suffered a lot

Now I want to present to you some works that I created at that time

And also some works that talk about the feelings of that time