As I Went Out One Morning

As I went out one morning

To breathe the air around Tom Paine's

I spied the fairest damsel

That ever did walk in chains

I offered her my hand

She took me by the arm

I knew that very instant

She meant to do me harm

"Depart from me this moment"

I told her with my voice

Said she, "But I don't wish to"

Said I, "But you have no choice"

"I beg you, sir", she pleaded

From the corners of her mouth

"I will secretly accept you

And together we'll fly south"

Just then Tom Paine, himself

Came running from across the field

Shouting at this lovely girl

And commanding her to yield

And as she was letting go her grip

Up Tom Paine did run

"I'm sorry, sir", he said to me

"I'm sorry for what she's done"