Made in Switzerland

What do you think of Switzerland when you think of Switzerland?

What's the most Swiss thing from Switzerland? (It's not Roger Federer)

Do you think that Switzerland is just the motherland of all the watches, chocolate and

Just a winter wonderland?

No, we have more than yodeling, the best inventions are all made in Switzerland

Uh, for example?

Well, instant coffee, potato peelers and processed cheese

The famous Swiss army knife with clever tools, and a lift for skis

You know, there wouldn't be a rockstar without the electric guitar

Hazel, let's do this

Alright, Sandra

Made in Switzerland, like the zipper and muesli

Made in Switzerland, like the internet or LSD

Made in Switzerland, and when you need transparency

Just use some cellophane that's made in Switzerland

Like the garlic press, take two and one for free

Is made in Switzerland, like our neutral weapon industry

Made in Switzerland, theory of relativity

Is theoretically made in Switzerland

But there's one thing that's more famous and even bigger than the Matterhorn

What could it be?

Here's the absolutely true and never before been told story

Of how the most Swiss invention of all was born

It all started in the mid '50s

In the mid '50s of the 13th century

When this ancient land was in desperate need of a hero who'd unite them all

The colors have changed to sepia, welcome to old Helvetia

This land is rich in poverty, there's hunger, thirst, and misery

We are so poor, the cheese has holes, we need someone to save our souls

Save us from misery, lead us to liberty, here in old Helvetia

But who will lead us to the light?

Is it Heidi? (No)

Is it just a regular Swiss cow? (No)

Is it the wicked witch of the west? (Ooh, no)

And most certainly not Roger Federer (no)

It's our national hero, the Swiss version of Robin Hood, who fights for good

We know him well, it's William Tell

I'm a crossbowman and a hero, but

I just can't stand the sight of blood

I'd rather sing in bright light nights

And dance in sassy tights

I have a vision of a world without division

I have a vision where true love is our mission

So, here's my decision, we do a music competition

And I name this vision "Concours Eurovision de la chanson"

Oh, never mind, let's call my vision "Eurovision"

Made in Switzerland, we celebrate Tell's vision here

Made in Switzerland, on television every year

Made in Switzerland, and now you finally understand

That like the Swiss Eurovision is

Non-political, strictly neutral

Doesn't matter if you're good or brutal

Welcome gender diversity

But with decency and no nudity (nuh-uh)

Sparks of fire and crazy lightning

Make the staging far more frightening

Why the hell is it raining here?

Oh, is it Gjon's tears? No, it's tears from Roger Federer

We've invented democracy, and the voting system too

So blame it on the Swiss if your song won't go through

Made in Switzerland, we've invented ESC

Made in Switzerland, to unite the people peacefully

Made in Switzerland, we sing and dance in harmony

Let's raise our fondue forks in unity

'Cause Eurovision's as you see

All made in Switzerland