Something I'm Not

So you wanna drop it all?

I mean, are you doing okay?

What, maybe you need to talk to some therapist, get your mind right

And now, I'm hearing you wanna give this up?

Man, this is what you worked for

This is what you fought for

Rap's all you got in this life and you wanna throw it away?

Look, everybody wanna rap nowadays

But you actually have it

If you don't make it, none of us got a chance

Never trapped on the block

I was just out on them corners

Just trying to show **** I'm hot

Just spitting my story

Calm, collected little youngin

They're like, "Young boul you hot", you hot

Respect is earned, Not given

They used to give tape on the plot

Before airing the block

I'm one of a kind

So lower your tone when you speak

Don't compare me to something I'm not

Cause really I'm not

The type to go run to the socials

The beef with a wanna be opp

There's some shit that I've seen

That's never gon' get to the surface

Even long after I drop

Let's keep it a bean

You hard on the surface

But nervous, you hurting

Heart racing inside

I was like 14, 15

First time I slid on an op, he wasn't my op, but fuck it I slid

Bro passed me the uh with one in the head

Then told me to squeeze it I whipped him instead

Released all my anger I thought he was dead

Wasn't scared of the thought that I did what I did

I was scared of the thought of it reaching

The feds went straight to my head

I looked in the mirror I'm shaking my head

Woke out of my sleep cause I pissed in the bed

I needed a perky but I didn't have one

I went to the bathroom took NyQuil instead

You wanted real I'm as real as it get

Something I'm not is a cold blooded bitch

My back door was open but they couldn't fit

Can't catch me solo I move militant

Like a ghost or a thief in the night

You can cut the lights off, lil bitch, but I'll never switch

Damn, DYP, what you need to do is stop wearing so many hats

Got your hands in this, got your hands in that

But what you really doing?

You gotta pick one thing and stick to it come on bro

Man timeout I'm not

Risking it all just to perceive to be something I'm not

They want the control, I want the freedom

You more like a Diddy I more like a Pac

You more of a sheep and I'm leading the flock

You don't know how deep my trauma done got

Gotta keep my peripheral vision on lock

So many nights had my stomach in knots

I done seen mommy get beat pretty bad

But I was too little to make that shit stop

Never had anything close to a dad

The man in the mirror was more of a pop

Now I'm a pop

Half of my family went ghost

I swear that shit hurt me, no lie

Did so much shit, I'm regretting a lot

Don't know what I'm doing like half of the time

I went to church three times a week

Yet I always felt like I'm beefing with God

Respectfully prayed, never got a response

At 11 years old, put my faith in the Za

Reading through scriptures, acknowledged the wisdom and game

Never changed the fact I was fried

Remember when mom couldn't pay the electric

Had orange extension cords running outside

Times with no water, we thought that was normal

Road trips to our grandmother's house for a wash

Budget and forman our clothes were enormous

My mom got it big, so it lasts us a while

Shed so much tears, getting hard not to drown

Never hid all my feelings, I wrote them all down

They chose not to listen, I'm left with a frown

Folks always questioned why I rarely smile

Remember 2016, family almost got murdered

Mama got fed up and took it to trial

Somehow he won, I'm just sitting like "wow"

Contemplating ways to put a man down

Mom got depressed, stopped going to school

Til she got better, I held the house down

But karma's a bitch, same man got dropped

Don't ask me no who's, don't ask me no how's

Keep that dub beat knocking