Ladies and gentlemen of the class of '99

Wear sunscreen

If I could offer you only one tip for the future

Sunscreen would be it

The long term benefits of sunscreen has been proven by scientists

Whereas the rest of my advice has no basis

More reliable than my own meandering experience

I will dispense this advice now

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth

Never mind, you'll not understand the power and beauty

Of your youth until they have faded

But trust me, in 20 years you'll look back at photos of yourself

And recall in a way you can't grasp now

How much possibility lay before you

And how fabulous you really looked

You're not as fat as you imagine

Don't worry about the future or worry

But know that worrying is as effective as trying

To solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum

The real troubles in your life are apt to be things

That never crossed your worried mind

The kind that blindside you at 4 p.m. on some idle Tuesday

Do one thing every day that scares you

Sing, don't be reckless with other people's hearts

Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours

Floss, don't waste your time on jealousy

Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind

The race is long, and in the end, it's with yourself

Remember compliments you've receive, forget the insults

If you succeed in doing this, tell me how

Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements

Stretch, don't feel guilty if you don't know

What you want to do with your life

The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22

What they wanted to do with their lives

Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don't

Get plenty of calcium, be kind to your knees

You'll miss them when they're gone

Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't

Maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't

Maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance

The funky chicken at your 75th wedding anniversary

Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much

Or berate yourself either, your choices are half chance

So are everybody else's

Enjoy your body, use it every way you can

Don't be afraid of it, or what other people think

It's the greatest instrument you'll ever own

Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room

Read the directions, even if you don't follow them

Do not read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly

Brother and sister, together we'll make it through

Someday your spirit will take you and guide you there

I know you've been hurting

But I've been waiting to be there for you

And I'll be there just helping you out whenever I can

Get to know your parents

You never know when they'll be gone for good

Be nice to your siblings, they're your best link to your past

And the people most likely to stick with you in the future

Understand that friends come and go

But with the precious few, you should hold on

Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle

'Cause the older you get, the more you need

The people you knew when you were young

Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard

Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft

Travel, accept certain inalienable truths, prices will rise

Politicians will philander, you too will get old

And when you do, you'll fantasize

That when you were young, prices were reasonable

Politicians were noble and children respected their elders

Respect your elders

Don't expect anyone else to support you

Maybe you'll have a trust fund

Maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse

But you never know when either one might run out

Don't mess too much with your hair

Or by the time you're 40, it will look 85

Be careful whose advice you buy

But be patient with those who supply it

Advice in a form of nostalgia

Dispensing it is a way of fishing out the past from the disposal

Wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts

And recycling it for more than it's worth

But trust me on the sunscreen

Brother and sister, together we'll make it through

Someday your spirit will take you and guide you there

I know you've been hurting

But I've been waiting to be there for you

And I'll be there just helping you out whenever I can