Wig Master

You said, "I will build you a bed of cactus where you can sleep when the night is too sharp"

I said, "I will cover you with wax and light your hair like a wick when the night is too cold"

You don't think of me as often as I'd like you to

But when you do, it's of me looking for you on the ship

The plane I am waiting on has your face printed on the wings

When it crashes, I'll eat the paint off

I'm gonna spank your ass so hard you'll hate the Wig Master

But I'll put two pillows on your dining room chair

You're like a parrot, something that belongs to me and not to you

Loneliness isn't being alone

It's when someone loves you, and you don't have it in you to love them back

Look at my hair, it's a dirty little mop crying for you to send it away

All a guy needs is a chance to pull off my clothes and snicker, "Try harder"

If you mail me a toy, I'll use it, but that's the most I have to offer

"Do you want to see my panties?" is the last thing I'll ever say to you

"I want to finger every teenager I see" is the last thing you say to me

Don't make fun of my night out