All Aboard

All aboard!

Hades Express!

Non-stop,

Just a short hop

To the bottomless pit --

This is it!

Club Dead

Straight ahead.

Bring your shroud,

No coffins allowed --

There's too big a crowd.

But if you're a stiff,

Then get in the skiff

And we're off to Perdition.

And wait till you see Perdition:

You think you know dank?

Hoo, boy.

You think you know dismal?

Sheesh, forget it.

Talk about dark,

talk about dreary,

What you think is dreary

Is what we call cheery

Down here.

All aboard!

No delay

Long as you're D.O.A.

If you fall off the perch,

If you buy the farm,

Kick the bucket,

Bite the dust,

If you're pushing up daisies,

Truck on down

And when I say down,

I mean down...

All aboard!

Get your kicks

On the River Styx...