First day outside in I don't know how long

Found my shoes under a week of clothes I didn't wear

Stood at the door for a minute just to get some air

Couldn't tell you what the season was, I lost the month

Somewhere between the silence and the worst of it

Sunlight hit different, almost forgot what that feels like

Had to squint to see the world, adjust to real life

Checked my phone and saw the notifications piled deep

Conversations I abandoned, promises I couldn't keep

Walked around the block like I was learnin' how to be

A person in the world again, that version wasn't me

I kept my head down past the neighbors, didn't wanna talk

Felt like everyone could see it in the way I walk

That I'd been somewhere dark, that something happened in that house

Felt like carryin' a sign with all my damage written out

But nobody was lookin, and the world kept movin' on

Like I never even left it, like I never even gone

Surfacing surfacing

Still got water in my lungs

Surfacing surfacing

Comin' back to someone

There's a message from a while back that I keep scrollin' past

From the only one who checked in when I went dark last

Three words, you still there, sent sometime in the fall

I sat on it for weeks before I answered it at all

Felt like I owed an explanation that I couldn't give

Felt like I had to have it figured out before I could live

Out loud again, be present, be the person they deserved

But I been waitin' to be ready and the waitin' only hurts

So I typed back something honest, maybe six words or less

Said I'm still here, I been under, it's a mess

Didn't dress it up, didn't minimize the weight

Didn't promise I was better, only promised I could wait

For something worth buildin' even if my hands still shake

Even if I'm showin' up with all the cracks I couldn't break

Because they waited, and I know that ain't a small thing (ain't a small thing)

And I'm not who I was

But I'm something

Surfacing surfacing

Still got water in my lungs

Surfacing surfacing

Comin' back to someone

I'm not gonna stand here and tell you I got it together

I'm not gonna promise you the worst of it is over

I know the dark comes back around, I've learned to read the weather

But I'm choosin' to be here, not because it's easier, it's harder

To stay present than to vanish, I know that now for certain

Done hidin' behind silence like it's some kind of curtain

I don't know what healed looks like, I just know what hiding costs

And I'm tired of countin' everything I've buried, every bridge I've crossed

And burned (and burned)

And left (and left)

And mourned alone

So I'm walkin' back to something

Walkin' back to someone

Whatever's still there waitin

Let it be enough

Surfacing surfacing

Still got water in my lungs

Surfacing surfacing

Comin' back to someone

Still got water in my lungs (still got water)

But I'm breathin' (but I'm breathin)