Worried Brown Eyes

She always signs her letters 'Worried Brown Eyes'

The queen of every problem page at seventeen

Never a week goes by but worried brown eyes

Is hanging out her heart-achings in the Ladies Weekly magazine

She has got a boyfriend name of Dickie

Who would like to go too far

You know what Dickies are

And she is asking is he honourable

Or is he just a prancing Don Juan

But worst of all she fears

Could she love a man who picks his ears?

She always signs her letters 'Worried Brown Eyes'

She says she's got a little mole in a place where nobody's ever seen

And she asks is it unsightly, pretty brown eyes

Seeking advice on mole control in the Ladies Weekly magazine

Then of course there's Dickie, desperate Dickie

Who is growing very bold

His hands are so cold

Well, now's your chance, oh, little brown eyes

To be passionate and rash and indiscreet

Body and soul, go on, give the lad a treat

Show him your mole

She always signs her letters 'Worried Brown Eyes'

Revealing every secret of her shy hygiene

She'd like a bigger bosom, worried brown eyes

Thrashing out her tummy bulge in the Ladies Weekly magazine

Dickie's been molesting her and pestering her, again he tries his luck

He's running amok

Every letter's full of tricky Dickie

But this week I feel there's something new

He must have made his move, something must

Have happened, her handwriting's improved

Oh, spare some kind of prayer for worried brown eyes

Queen of every problem page at seventeen

Never a week goes by but worried brown eyes

Is hanging out her desperations in the Ladies Weekly magazine

Would she do it, could she do it, should she?

Opening up her heart-achings so ill-advisedly

Brown eyes that nobody's ever seen

With her Dickie Dido in the Ladies Weekly magazine