I'm Gettin' Stoned

I read it in the paper, marked a date on the wall

To remind myself to celebrate the day I lose it all

They made plans to be together, I made plans to be alone

She got a rock and I'm gettin' stoned

Damn right I've got objections but it's a lawful too late now

The cans are on the limo and the rice is on the ground

They're headed for the islands, but hell I'm already gone

She got a rock and I'm gettin' stoned

Here's to happy ever after and here's to balls and chains

Here's to all us haters of old lovers new last names

And here's to holin' up and gettin' right where I belong

She got a rock and I'm gettin' stoned

Yeah, I knew that it was over when I heard those wedding bells

That preacher was my jailer, now this bottle is my bail

So much for all that prayin' her I do would be I don't

She got a rock, I'm gettin' stoned

Here's to happy ever after and here's to balls and chains

And here's to all us haters of old lovers new last names

And here's to holin' up and gettin' right where I belong

She got a rock, I'm gettin' stoned

So to hell with her and him

And that white horse they rode out on

She got a rock, I'm gettin' stoned

Yeah, she got a rock, I'm gettin' stoned

Yeah, I'm gettin' stoned