She climbs a tree and scrapes her knee, her dress has got a tear
She waltzes on her way to Mass and whistles on the stair
And underneath her wimple she has curlers in her hair
I even heard her singing in the abbey
She's always late for chapel, but her penitence is real
She's always late for everything, except for every meal
I hate to have to say it, but I very firmly feel Maria's not an asset to the abbey
I'd like to say a word in her behalf
Maria makes me laugh
How do you solve a problem like Maria?
How do you catch a cloud and pin it down?
How do you find the word that means Maria?
A flibbertijibbet! A will-o'-the wisp! A clown!
Many a thing you know you'd like to tell her
Many a thing she ought to understand
But how do you make her stay and listen to all you say
How do you keep a wave upon the sand?
Oh, how do you solve a problem like Maria?
How do you hold a moonbeam in your hand?
When I'm with her I'm confused, out of focus and bemused
And I never know exactly where I am
Unpredictable as weather, she's as flighty as a feather
She's a darling! She's a demon! She's a lamb!
She'd out pester any pest, drive a hornet from its nest
She could throw a whirling dervish out of whirl
She is gentle! She is wild! She's a riddle! She's a child!
She's a headache! She's an angel! She's a girl!
How do you solve a problem like Maria?
How do you catch a cloud and pin it down?
How do you find the word that means Maria?
A flibbertijibbet! A will-o'-the wisp! A clown!
Many a thing you know you'd like to tell her
Many a thing she ought to understand
But how do you make her stay and listen to all you say
How do you keep a wave upon the sand?
Oh, how do you solve a problem like Maria?
How do you hold a moonbeam in your hand?
