Good evening, parents, tonight I'm gonna take you on a tour: Club Bad

Where all the bad little kiddies go

Tryin' to leave their bodies

By various means and methods, anything necessary

Some things that you quite won't be accustomed to

So I think we'll put each and everyone of you, with your own individual on camera

So that you can take pictures of these bad little kiddies doin' these bad little things

For tomorrow's paper

So whip out your fifteen dollars and prepare to enter Club Bad

Wouldn't you know it?

Not here more than thirty seconds and already I see a bad little kid doin' bad little things

He is sucking on a balloon

Now, this is not an ordinary balloon, parents

It's a balloon filled with the gas called nitrous oxide

Laughing gas, hi hi hi hi hi, ha ha

But this is no laughing matter

Cameras ready, prepare the flash

Now over here we have little Johnny and Miss Sue

Smokin' on a joint

This is not the thing to do

I think that we have to take pictures of these two

Cameras ready, prepare the flash

Now, over here

We have some naughty, naughty kids

They brought in their own liquor to the party

Now we cannot have that now, parents, can we?

Six packs and pipes, I think not, so

Cameras ready, prepare the flash