Alan Is a Cowboy Killer

Pull up my pants

Now the camera crew has gone

In your statement to the police

Tell them how you turned me on

But you were such an ugly child

You were such an awkward child

You were such a stupid child

We should have cottoned on

Alan is a cowboy killer!

Take up tai chi

Now your favourite pet has died

We had crazy fucking times

Till her Visa card expired

But you were such an ugly child

You were such an awkward child

You were such a stupid child

We should have cottoned on

Alan is a cowboy killer!

Wipe up his mess

Pay your fluffers by the hour

How you're paying for your peace

How you're paying for your peace

But you were such an ugly child

You were such an awkward child

You were such a stupid child

We should have cottoned on

That Alan is cowboy killer

That Alan is cowboy killer

That Alan is cowboy killer

That Alan is cowboy killer

Alan is a cowboy killer!