Our Sergeant Major

Now there's a sergeant major Enjoys life while he can He proves to all the ladies He's a soldier and a man! He sticks out his chest Two pillows in his vest A bolster under His rotunda Our sergeant major! His medals break our hearts He won them playing darts! And while competing Who was cheating? Our sergeant major! He's far away the worst friend we've ever had When he's far away, well, we're mighty glad! In the canteen bar You know what sergeants are! When we've passed out Who's the last out? Our sergeant major! He's got a raucous voice His language isn't choice! In clink we'd shove him How we love him Our sergeant major! His weight about he'll throw The wicked so and so! Who'd even smother His own mother? Our sergeant major! He's far away the worst friend we've ever had When he's far away, well, we're mighty glad! Our bugler goes his rounds And when the bugle sounds For everlastin'! Who's he blastin'? Our sergeant major! Now he makes raw recruits Just tremble in their boots He calls 'em slackers! Who's gone crackers? Our sergeant major! His feet fill up the road Knock-kneed and pigeon-toed We'd sooner shoot him Than salute him Our sergeant major! He's far away the worst friend we've ever had When he's far away, well, we're mighty glad! The mascot goat we own Though big and fat has grown Wild and warlike It's far more like Our sergeant major!