Chinatown, Etc.

I love the Chinese language, man, oh my God

It's beautiful, the rhythm, the cadence, it's like a song, isn't it?

I'm up in Chinatown a few weeks ago in San Francisco, I'm in the middle of Chinatown

Everybody's speaking Chinese, and I'm thinking to myself, I don't speak Chinese

But I figure, if I try

I gotta be saying something, right?

So I'm in the middle of Chinatown, I'm like, "hong dai, dong doi, dang daye, dhog naye"

Some little kid ran up and gave me an egg salad sandwich

Got a free lunch

Daddy got a free lunch

Uh, so you're going to school, that's good, gotta know things

Sometimes, yeah

If a chick's wearing a thong, and she accidentally shits her pants

Does that cut it right in two?

Is that a double thunder loaf right there?

I'm just asking, I need to know, man

We all gotta have a sense of humor, some people don't have a sense of humor

You ever meet someone like that, huh? Won't laugh at anything no matter what?

I met someone recently, remember this guy was living up in a tree they were gonna cut down?

500-year-old tree, they're gonna cut it down, guy goes and lives in it

You think if you lived in a tree for seven months, you'd have a sense of humor, hello?

So here I am over at the mall the other day

I'm wandering around, who do I see? It's the tree guy

I recognized him from the news, thinking he's got to have a sense of humor

So here's what I did, I snuck up behind him

I just tip-toed right up between his little shoulder blades

And all I said was-

Oh, he started crying, he crapped his pants, he was wearing a thong