Pepa, Pepa, it's me, are you there? Call me!

Hi, it's me... again, Candela, where are you?

Just, call me when you get this, ok? Ok

Pepa, Pepa!

Pepa, it's me again, why aren't you picking up the phone?

It's like my brain is gonna melt if I don't talk to you

I've got a problem in the shower, and I only got a minute

'Cause the problem in the shower

Is this guy that I've been dating named Malik

He's, what's the word? Swarthy, like a desert sheik

And he's been here in my apartment for about a week

I met him down at café Sombra, and

I know you think I'm overly romantic

But you wouldn't believe the connection we had, like immediately

I was ready for him to meet my mom

Like I could feel my heart exploding like some kind of bomb

Which is ironic because actually I think he literally has some kind of

Anyway grandpa, happy birthday

Say hello to grandma and be sure to thank

That was him!

I may be jumping to conclusions, God I hope I am

He thinks I'm thin, and he's got shoulders like Jean-Claude Van Dame

Listen, call me when you hear this, I'll be here for half an hour

Call me back!

Pepa! Are you there? Are you there? Are you...?

Okay you're not there but we need to talk

My stomach's aching like I swallowed some enormous rock

I'm at the phone booth on the corner, and I've only got a minute

'Cause I'm running out of change

'Cause I've been lending all my money to Malik

God knows with men, I'm not exactly on a lucky streak

But this one really is a mess, I think I'm gonna freak

I know you say I'm an alarmist

But I'm not remember, there's that time I thought I saw a spider

But you said, "Nah, it's a Raisin"

But it suddenly started moving, and it crawled over and bit me on the toe

So if you're gonna stand and judge me, that's how much you know

It's a good thing I didn't eat it, but I never would've eaten it

'Cause I never did like raisins, so why would there be a Raisin on the floor?

So when you hear this, call me back, I'll wait a little more

I'll be at 773, damn they scratched out the number, and misspelled vagina

All right, I'm hanging up, I'll call you back!

Pepa! Ok I'm trying you again, it's afternoon!

It's like my eyes are gonna pop if I don't get you soon

I'm at the studio, which sucks because I'm having trouble working

'Cause the only thing I think about's this crazy situation with Malik

I don't know what I'm gonna do if you and I don't speak

I know you think I'm just a drama queen, but actually I'm practical

And damn it I'm a model

So of course I feel things deeper that most people typically do

And anyway I think my life might be in danger too

You won't believe what he's got hidden in the

Fernando's working here he's lost a lot of weight though

And he got that thing removed he just looks

Pepa, Marcos, he says hello

And now he's telling me were shooting so I got to go

It's some big deal, ad campaign, I don't know what it's for

They've got me posing with a melon and a matador, some kind of metaphor

Call me back!

Pepa, it's 8:00, I don't know why you're treating me like this

Pepa, it's almost 10 o'clock you really are a terrible friend

Pepa I'm sorry I've never felt to frightened and alone

I'm like a helpless little kitten up a -

Hey! I'm on the fucking phone!

Please call me back

Pepa it's midnight, are you screening?

It's 3 a.m. You have to call me

I'd never do this to you what kind of a friend -?

What was the name of that cheese that I like?

Pepa, Pepa sweetheart. Listen, I need to tell you

Tape is full, end of messages

Pepa! Ok now even your machine's ignoring me

Listen, Pepa, I know you think I'm needy but you've gotta see

I'm feeling kinda woozy, I've been crying for an hour

And my boyfriend has an oozy and he doesn't clean the shower

And I don't know where you are, I don't know where I am

I'm halfway up a tree and completely in a jam

I'm out here in a desert and nobody gives a damn

Pepa, Pepa, Pepa

Call me back!