Goodbye Earl

Mary Anne and Wanda were the best of friends

All through their high school days

Both members of the 4H Club

Both active in the FFA

After graduation Mary Anne went out

Lookin' for a bright new world

Wanda looked all around this town

And all she found was Earl

Well, it wasn't two weeks after she got married

That Wanda started gettin' abused

She put on dark glasses and long sleeved blouses

And makeup to cover a bruise

Well, she finally got the nerve to file for divorce

She let the law take it from there

But Earl walked right through that restraining order

And put her in intensive care

Right away, Mary Anne flew in from Atlanta

On a red-eye midnight flight

She held Wanda's hand and they worked out a plan

And it didn't take 'em long to decide

That Earl had to die

Goodbye, Earl

Those black-eyed peas

They tasted alright to me, Earl

You're feeling weak

Why don't you lay down and sleep, Earl?

Ain't it dark

Wrapped up in that tarp, Earl?

The cops came by to bring Earl in

They searched the house high and low

Then they tipped their hats

And said "Thank you ladies, if you hear from him let us know,"

Well, the weeks went by and

Spring turned to summer

And summer faded into fall

And it turns out he was a missing person

Who nobody missed at all

So the girls bought some land at a roadside stand

Out on Highway 109

They sell Tennessee ham

And strawberry jam

And they don't lose any sleep at night, 'cause

Earl had to die

Goodbye Earl

We need a break

Let's go out to the lake, Earl

We'll pack a lunch

And stuff you in the trunk, Earl

Well, is that all right?

Good, let's go for a ride Earl

Hey

Well hey, hey, hey

Aw, hey, hey, hey

Well hey, hey, hey