Alone Again

I spend the greater amount of my time In a bind, it boggles my mind Bouncing between Rather or not she's mine I dream of a life At night, when I'm wide awake And the insight takes flight Where I only see the light like Think outside the prison cell Your soul, cuz hell there's hope For yourself And everyone else inside this hole Oh no, there she goes And here I am all alone Again I guess I lost my only true friend She plays pretend To make my brain bend Gives me bitter cold shoulder When I ask her how her day went Same shit different guy New outfit old disguise Make a profit out of lies But I can see right through that twinkle in her eye Drink at the absurdities Burn some weed and learn some things About the way she hurts me To the 3rd degree Earnestly She's earning her keep sake Purposely posting her words up With wheat paste There's a thin line Between alive and died There's a thin red line Between alive and died Just called to say goodbye And if I could only make you feel The way I feel, surreal The pain is so unbearable I wouldn't need to kneel At your alter Happily ever after The facts have been altered Turn another chapter from this author Dripping wasted red ink All across the page I wonder what your boyfriend will think When you realize he's just a phase Fuck your 15 minutes of fame You've changed your face Now I forgot your name So you can find someone else to blame It's insane The way That you betray Can't believe I played your game Why couldn't you just stay the same? Showed up to your graduation Waiting patient For your presentation Wasn't late, had a present, said "Congratulations!" Heart with a chain on it Coagulated, taken for surprise Without hesitation Cops anticipated desperation Stopped me at my destination I admit I was shaken But committed make no mistake Dedicated to the mission Relationship non existent Now that we have sank that ship Floating in the distant Locked up for resisting Insisted on the loony bin Once they saw my wrists slit They don't know how alone I've been Since you left me luvsik You left me all alone again Now isn't that some bull shit You left me so alone again Now give it up for that cool kid! Switching sides you're acting shifty I realize your love is iffy If he really kisses you I hope you don't fuxkin miss me Swiftly swept me off my feet I'm fallin' feeling incomplete Often happens in the autumn When I'm dying with the trees Switching sides you're acting shifty I realize your love is iffy If he really kisses you I hope you don't fuxkin miss me Swiftly swept me off my feet I'm fallin' feeling incomplete Often happens in the autumn When I'm dying with the trees Leaf me like everybody Erase me from your history No forward trajectory My story won't be legendary Buried in a cemetery Deep inside your memory Very lost in reverie Never to remember me Embarrassing myself In front of all your friends and family Raised some hell and went to jail Now I'm acting sadly Ain't asking for no help I'll post my own bail gladly But for now I sit in this cell Hoping you ain't angry Antsy, paranoid Can't stand the empty void Anxiously laughing But madly annoyed Ask me if I care I rather hear the kick, snare And stare into the noise Knowing no one was there I miss her poisonous lips Those guillotine kisses It's way more than a bad habit This addict craves his fixin' Sittin' by the window sill Sippin' on some gin Contemplating my reflection Cuz the will comes from within Downin' a bottle full throttle In the auto with the 'matic in back Having a panic attack And no more pills left to swallow Only pride, as I joyride down The old hood we grew up in A little boy and girl Ditchin' school up to nothing, cool In my head we're still in love In my heart you're still the one All I do is fall apart And I always come undone Wishing we could be together Whatever the weather Or whether the pressure of permanent severance Isn't enough to keep you centered Settle for the lesser Of two evils I still keep your portrait on my dresser Next to sharp razors and needles I need you its lethal Injections gettin' real Just wanna feel But now all I fear is people Deep in the abyss of my loneliness There exists a passion That comes into fruition For her un-holiness Hoping this distance Closes in an instance X and O's it's nice to know There's no cure for the sickness Double crossed I'm lost without you What's the cost? Amount to, bound to Toss this out But I'll do lots Claim this spot To stay around you Say you want to Play the damn fool Hunt the haunted Pray with hands full Captured prey Plate the same food Save the day The way that saints do I waited for an ex-planation All fuxkin' night I'm running out of patience For your lack of dedication In a frustrated attempt To provide resuscitation Bring alive the motivation But I won't give up the fight Hold tight Believe it or leave me alone Wanna be on my own With a hole in my head On the side of the road, dead Unknown With a pen and pad and a pattern To scatter the matter Another disaster leaving me Tuned to the tone of a new home now I told it'd be soon but you knew some how Stoned in my zone high on a blue cloud Cold to the bone stay bold to the true sound Hold it down for you If this town won't do I'll split the ground in two Crawl thru hell for you Take that crown From the devil in the blue gown Pull it over your halo Cuz we can see the truth now Unveil the deflated ego The frail detail Feel so low Reveal the unequal Wait though Say it to my face before you go Famous last words From a pretty empty soul Love backwards Like evol prevails And you're looking kinda pale With that placebo cocktail Take it to the telltale heart Yeah I'm mad dark Pick apart my art And thanks for adding more scars Never thought I'd ever have to forget What a perfect Person Hope it's worth it When you're searchin' In my verses This is urgent Cursing Lesson learnin' Scared and nervous Hurtin' That's for certain Feeling like the earth is Pulling me under the surface Never thought I'd ever have to forget her I'd give up half of what I have Just to sit and get dinner Praying that she'll reconsider But I'm in love with a sinner So I take it out on my liver I shiver in the dead of the winter Wither away Either way she knows I miss her The innocence is lost "Even god can't fix her" Agnostic atheist Her own mental prisoner But she tells me I'm the craziest Knowing it can all be simpler I whisper to the wind The shore washes up my message It's bitter in the end And I'm wishing her the best Simultaneously Picture her swimming with the fishes She talks about adrenaline When her love is so vicious If this kills me so be it I need her mistreatment I won't be disobedient Don't leave me so immediate Born alone die alone The only thing you're promised But I want you next to me When I'm lying in my coffin You can have your coffee I can be Andy Kaufman