He's from Ohio

Lives with his mother

He loves the woman

Who loves his brother

What can he do now

As she walks across the floor?

Here comes his brother

Walking sideways through the door

Was the same at school

He played the fool

Or took a back seat

While Simon ruled

He played by himself a lot

And people called him shy

His mother said be more friendly

And he would ask her why

Has Simon got to be more friendly?

And do I have to be like him?

And mother said, "Oh son, be yourself

Be more like I tell ya

You gotta be like me

Be like I tell ya

Be like me"

Now when Kathleen

She came on the scene

He saw her first

And then Simon spoke

He took her to places

That completely turned her head

Gave her practical things

Like diamonds for her neck

Has Simon got to be so friendly?

Sometimes he makes me want to kill

Look at him dancing

While he's standing by the wall

There's gonna be trouble

When the time to leave is called

And Simon won't be feeling friendly

He'll be lying too close to the floor

And mother said, "Oh son, be yourself

Be more like I tell ya

You gotta be like me

Be like I tell ya

You gotta be yourself

Be like I tell ya

Be yourself"