Kansas City

I got to Kansas City on a Frid'y By Saturdy I learnt a thing or two For up to then I didn't have an idy Of whut the modren world was comin' to! I counted twenty gas buggies goin' by theirsel's Almost ev'ry time I tuk a walk. 'Nen I put my ear to a Bell Telephone and a strange womin Started in to talk! Whut next!? Yeah whut!? Whut next? Ev'rythin's up to date in Kansas City They've gone about as fur as they c'n go! They went and built a skyscraper seven stories high, About as high as a buildin' oughta grow. Ev'rythin's like a dream in Kansas City, It's better than a magic lantern show! Y' c'n turn the radiator on whenever you want some heat. With ev'ry kind o' comfort ev'ry house is all complete. You c'n walk the privies in the rain and never wet your feet! They've gone about as fur as they c'n go, Yes sir! They've gone about as fur as they c'n go! Ev'rythin's up to date in Kansas City They've gone about as fur as they c'n go! They got a big theayter they call a burleeque. Fer fifty cents you c'n see a dandy show. One of the gals was fat and pink and pretty, As round above as she was round below. I could swear that she was padded from her shoulder to her Heel, And then she started dancin' and her dancin' made me feel that ev'rythin' single thing she had was absolutely real! She went about as fur as she could go, Yes sir! She went about as fur as she could go! {*Instrumental Break} Oh that's about as fur as I c'n go! Yes sir! And that's about as fur as she c'n go!