Well, I killed my dad in a con gone bad

Nearly drank myself to death

But when he died he said Lou had the cake

So I caught a bus headin' west

I saw the numbers running through a small cafe

And I knew I'd find my Uncle Lou

That's when Ed stepped up, he said pick a card

Said shape the con before it shapes you

Who sent ya?

Sam fuckin' Peckinpah

Yeah, who sent ya?

Who sent ya, who sent ya?

Sam fuckin' Peckinpah

Yeah, who sent ya?

Now I met my uncle for the very first time

And he sent me on a con with Ed

Now we came callin' on his girl Diane

A blonde bimbo dressed in red

I guess pigeon dropping was the name of the game

And I had to pay my dues

Well, fun time family fun was the plan

Said shape the con before it shapes you

Who sent ya?

Sam fuckin' Peckinpah

Yeah, who sent ya?

Who sent ya, baby girl?

Sam fuckin' Peckinpah

Yeah, who sent ya?

Sam Peckinpah tried to choke Eddie out

But he cut him from his ear to ear

Well he grabbed old Lou and screamed "We fucked now"

On his face, a twisted jeer

Well he took old Lou down to the same café

And Eddie couldn't have been much higher

When he tied him up it was his intent

To put his head in that deep fryer

Diane told me and I tackled Ed

And we did a little wiggle and dance

When we were done Ed got a hot head, said

WELL VIVE LA FUCKIN' FRANCE, MAN!

Someone's tryin' to kill me, man

(Who'd try to kill you, Eddie?)

The fuckin' hangers!

Someone's tryin' to kill me, man

(Who'd try to kill you, Eddie?)

The fuckin' hangers!

I guess I maybe, friend

(All fuckin' summer long sugar)

Who sent ya?

Sam fuckin' Peckinpah

Yeah, who sent ya?

Who sent ya, baby girl?

Sam fuckin' Peckinpah

Yeah, who sent ya?

You shape the con or it'll shape you

You shape the con

You shape the con or it'll shape you

You shape the con

Praise fucking God!