Oh, don't get so distressed

If the good life won't arrive

You've been receiving SOS

When it's just your clock reading 505

And why are you so possessed

By the thought that she got freed?

And why are you figuring who's the best?

When just your luck ran out, and she chose me

We do not lie side by side

And mock the thought of you

And I don't take her hand and ask

Is this what he used to do?

'Cause I just want to free her from

Your jails of jealous dreams

'Cause at least, a house when it's empty stays clean

Stays clean

And I won't pretend

That I was simply swayed

It was a two-way thing, not a three-day fling

No secrets kept, no truth betrayed

And here's the house that held

The nightmare that went on

And you're sitting there wishing you'd never been born

With that self-inflicted crown of thorns

We do not lie side by side

And mock the thought of you

And I don't take her hand and ask

Is this what he used to do?

'Cause I just want to free her from

Your jails of jealous dreams

'Cause at least, a house when it's empty stays clean

And I won't pretend

That I'm the savior of the innocent and bad

But put two withered old blooms in a couple of rooms

And they'll behave like lunatics and crave what makes them sad

So here's a card that says

"Happy 22nd birthday, and I wish you were dead"

And here's a house that held

A bevy of devils and an angel as well

And you want what I've got

When all I've got is guilt

And a room that won't stay still

Filled with pockets full of crumpled up money

And a mantelpiece littered with bills

'Cause at least a house when it's empty

Yeah, at least a house when it's empty

Yeah, at least a house when it's empty

Yeah, it's clean