I'm afraid walking down the street

Holding hands with my girlfriend

That some cop is gonna arrest me (uh, excuse me, ladies)

Sometimes I think I've even done something wrong

Invite me in, show me around

Make me feel safe

Well, I am illegal

I have this vivid memory of being in a boat with a friend

I was 11, I said, "Girls can't get married to each other"

I remember thinking how fucked up that was (That is so fucked up!)

You say you have a ban on affection, did I hear you right?

Well, I am illegal

Invite me in, show me around

Make me feel safe

What do you think 'cause I'm not sure

Whether I didn't get that job (uh, we hired someone else)

Because my hair's parted on the wrong side

Or because I'm a flaming S&M rubber dyke (whack!)

Woo!

I am illegal