The First Born

Italians. Nobody decorates like the Italians. Italians get jealous what they got a Santa Claus. Mike put two Santa clauses. Fuck him. What they got the three wize men, we'll put six. We'll change the whole story. Yeah. Merry Christmas. Scumbag. Who decorates the house. The donkey. Who's going to decorate the house? My son, haha, I got it. Mike. Go back to sleep. It's only three o'clock. I got it. I got it. Why don't you paint the picture of Daddy falling off the ladder and snapping his fucking neck. Why don't you Google how to help your fucking father. He's staring at me. He's got a cup of hot chocolate. Just looking at me.

Speaker 1: And he shut the curtains on me and like I'm a piece of shit like be gone. You have no power here. Not no way. Not no how, but he's the first born male. You know what that means? You Italian family. My wife hears the commotion. God forbid she takes my side. She always defends that prick. My wife comes out of the house, all pissed off. Like the old lady lived in a shoe, hit the fucking sweater over his shoulders, arms folded. Walking towards me like Barnaby from March of the Wooden Soldiers and I could hear that music as she's coming towards me, Duh duh duh duh duh tah tah tah tah. Why don't you leave him alone? He's a good kid and he has good grades. Really? I'd rather have a fucking idiot that does shit around the house.

You ever ask your kids to help you with this technology. They give you a fucking song and dance. You want to get a glass ashtray and just clock em right in the skull. Just fucking do it for me. Hey Mike, when I go to settings, how, aauuuhhh. Three times I showed you. You little prick. You know how many times I tried to potty train you? Do you know how many nights I went to bed with a hard on cause mommy didn't give you a fucking Mylicon drops. Two o'clock in the morning and I'm finishing off over paper towels so I don't make a mess The next day your mother, what's that crusty stain, have a fucking donut. What's this, CSI, have a fucking donut. Yeah, get the blue light.

I was good at a the traffic. Here we go. This is the report we should here on 10 10 wins. Hey, what do you hear? What do you say? This is a Vic DiBitetto for 10 10 traffic. You give us 22 minutes. We'll give you a fucking agida. High above the Hudson river crossing they just finished taking out of George Washington bridge and they gonna replace it with a canoe. You'll make better time in a fucking canoe. Cross Bronx expressway has been backed up since I was 12 years old. Holy shit. The hell are you thinking, turn around. Go through Maine down 95 over the Tappan Zee up your sister's ass. You'll save 23 minutes. And I still call it the Tappan Zee, fuck Governor Cuomo. Oh shit, I should change my name to Cuomo. Save it for the end folks. Over the Long guh Island, the fucking sunrise highway is backed up from Montauk to fucking Brooklyn. They are apparently they're putting in cones in the middle lane for no fucking apparent reason. So that one guy from the crew with a limp. This is the guy putting cones out. The guy with the fucking limp. Hey folks, God bless you. Thank you for coming. I'll see you outside. Thank you, Thank you buddy, Thank you.