This Is How I Feel Know That Ima Shine

I wasn't ready for it but I guess it was yo time

Sometimes I sit back and ask myself why

The people I'm close with always gotta die

I would give up anything just to have you around

I would do anything just to see how you smile

They say keep ya head up but I'm thinking like how

When I first got the news man that shit broke me down

Like death creeped on us mane that shit came around

Usedt to think u here forever cuz u never shutdown

You my #1 soldier cuz you never backdown

And you taught me being lazy was never allowed

Never thought I would write this but it's bringing me down

I wish heaven had a phone so I can hear how you sound

And I won't ever stop cuz I'm holding it down

I swear I ain't gonna stop till I'm making you proud

Who gone really feel me ain't nobody to call to

I keep all this pain in aint nobody to talk to

When I was feeling down u the one that I fall too

How I met Rod Wave the same week that I lost you

I wish you could tell me te amo negrito

And I could sit by you fill you up with besitos

You made a lot of shit happen I thought you was a wizard

Remember all the times you would see me catching lizards

Ima miss all the breakfast all the lunches and the dinners

And if that food cold that shit would have you triggered

They say you gotta take a loss so you could be the winner

Forgive me for my sins cuz I know that ima sinner

Give me all the strength show me all the wisdom

Couldn't handle it I'm trying to ball like I'm kemba

We was supposed to celebrate my 18th in November

Now shit won't be the same when it's Christmas in December

Waiting to wake up

This feels like a nightmare

Nobody really knows how I felt when I was right there

Holding my nana hand while her spirit going upstairs

I ain't wanna let go but I couldn't be selfish

I know all this a plan

It taught me this lesson

Taught me how to forgive all the problems don't stress it

All the hospital visits showed me that u really solid

Cherish all ya folks cuz tomorrow ain't promise

Should've been better gotta be honest

I mean I'm repping TTE so i gotta be modest

I'm on whole another level

I speak like a prophet

Double up I won't drop it

I wrote this shit for my papa

And I know better days will come I just pray for mama

I hope all my enemies never go thru this trauma

This Life shit too short so fuck all the drama

I had so much rage I was steaming like saunas

She was like que paso

Tell her it's nada

I just wish I had more time just to tell you my problems

Thankful for all the years that u gave it was knowledge

Julian was Batman u dressed me as robin

Had so much tears

That my eyes felt clouded

You helped raised me while my mom looked for houses

Everybody been a hunnid but u kept it a thousand

Everything the same

Yo shells on the dresser

If heaven got a mailbox then this is my letter

God got you now

That pain ain't forever

I know you in paradise

You done got thru the weather

For you ima stay focus and hope for the better

I'm out