Close Enough to Closure

Is there shame in running towards the things I thought I'd miss? If I stick around enough than will I feel I fit? Or was this all to please an aforementioned thought? I don't know why I dip my toes in everything Until the waters overhead Because I've tried so hard to leave this ditch that I had tried so hard to dig Breathe in, drain the oxygen you siphoned from my mouth Weak lungs, endorphins flow but I could never make a sound I keep prodding my place just to find that this all leads to nothing Letting my head fill up with thoughts of these deception Like you said they would I've been thinking about this all damn night Constant panic over what's inside It's all interwoven, I see right through it Through it Breathe in, drain the oxygen you siphoned from my mouth Weak lungs, endorphins flow but I could never make a sound When this fully consumes my thoughts, will it be me? Will I change? Or will I be stuck in place, forever the same? Breathe in, drain the oxygen you siphoned from my mouth Weak lungs, endorphins flow but I could never make a sound Breathe in, drain the oxygen you siphoned from my mouth Weak lungs, endorphins flow but I could never make a sound I need to cover this up where I can't seem to find any closure intertwined When I'm close enough to closure I stray far behind