Smile #5 (see page 103 and 107)

Memories is medicine

But past make me reticent

I really need me Ritalin

Or better yet, some mescaline

(If you're scared then say that you're scared)

'Cause future's always tentative

And present's always relative

Like birthdays with my

(Missing presences was felt, scared)

They say these cards dealt

But life ain't a game

And I sure ain't a spade

And I sure ain't a slave

We sure ain't the same

But I wonder

What makes a card different besides the number?

Or between a club and a clover

Looking for luck in them LA summers

I remember my Ma in Dumb and Dumber

I remember near death in a Rover

I remember when she got sober

Then copped the same one in October

Same color, same color

Can't smile at the past when I see it

Mistake my past as seen it

'Cause what was ain't what it really seem

Maybe pain is what I really mean

Or maybe gas what I really need

Too bad it turned me to a fiend

For weeks, dazed

Oh, Mama, look

I don't know

Where to go

Protect my soul

Before I'm ghost

I'm gone, I'm gone

I was lost but I'm found, I think