How to Be Successful

A lesson in how to be successful

To get a good profession

With financial protection

Avoid the next recession

And get your parents' blessing

And that nice flat in Hendon

Make it your new obsession

First go to uni and then you write a CV

Apply for jobs in TV, media and advertising

While always emphasizing your love for filing

Modernizing and entrepren-izing

You're in luck, turns out they're hiring

Oh, 80.96 years on average, your life you have to manage

Before it goes, oh, oh

Now on with the show

And now you meet a girl

And she's your whole world

So buy her a pearl necklace

And then propose

And then you'll have a kid

A second and a third

Two boys and a girl

Ruby, Alex and Curt

Now Ruby goes to uni

Now Alex goes to uni

Now Curtis does an art foundation, then goes to uni

Now Ruby's feelin' broody, meets a boy and gets producing

A nice set of grandchildren, Robbie, Mary and Susan

Oh, now 80.96 years on average, your life is gone, it's vanished

What can you show?

For years and years and years ago?

Oh, when your life feels wasted, your kids have vacated

Your family home, you should have faced this years and years ago

Oh, now it's the end of the show

So my lesson in how to be successful, yeah, it won't get a mention

When you're old and gray and mental

Forget about professions, forget the flat in Hendon

'Cause when you're on your deathbed, give a fuck if you're successful