The Return

Yo, it's the return of the gifted gift-er

The secret Santa grab bag sifter

The Grinch sled hanging off the ledge dead lifter

The best thrifter

The tear jerker

The Santa's little helper

Employee of the year worker

The smile bringer

The joy inside the child lingers

The boy inside the crowd, proud he's a loud singer

The whole choir

The bowtie-er

The snow plow and the snow tires

The coat buyer

The "Aw, you shouldn't have"-er

The Birkin bagger

The gifted rapper

They told me it's the thought that counts

But really, it's the count that matters

Accountant hacker

Bank amount counting backwards

A thousand smackers

It's the return of Chris Kringle that piss singles

That shit tingles

Sending checks twice 'cause the names on the list wrinkled

My chips Pringle

My chips bingo

My green mean go

Your green means slow

It's the young born again

Good hood ornament

With a little chicken like a Cornish hen

Amazon ordering

Cohiba importer

Evergreen watering

Wrapping all night, will he ever bring the chorus in?

Fireplace bright like I threw ten menorahs

And ten more kinaras

And a whole fucking forest in

I'll buy the doll and the mall that the store is in

I'll hide the presents and the dresser and the drawer it's in

My dog doing moves, he said, "This shit is on the floor again"

Feds was on his trail, but he got 50 names in Oregon

I bought cases bigger than the suits that you see Lori in

James still sitting, but I'm sending a DeLorean

Look, it's Mr. Christmas Bonus

Mr. Made His Brothers Bands, Mr. Nicholas Jonas

Mr. Big Cojones

But bigger heart, that's where the homeless' home is

The Home Alone kid

It's the return of Kevin McCallister

The Swiss Mister

The hot chocolate mixer

That gets pictures

The big, big cousin miss-er

The quick fixer

The Wiz Oz big blizzard, the big gifter