Losing Myself

I don't wanna cry for help I don't wanna die this way I'm looking inside myself Never gonna change what's wrong I'm sick of being lonely I'm sick of losing people If life is made of suffering then I just made the sequel They line up just to see it They love it when I'm feeble I'm dying with my secrets This shit I sip is lethal Lately I've been fallin cause, nobody is callin, and If I'm breaking down by myself, it's forgotten so Maybe God forgot my soul, maybe I just lost it The second it was possible, was cleaning out my closet I fucking hate dependency, ditchin' on some truancy This shit is ironic 'cause I need it so desperately They don't see me mentally, battle demons endlessly Suicidal thoughts, take a bullet like I'm Kennedy You wanna know the reason I'm not dead, let me tell it I told myself I'm worth it, really said it just to sell it I was fucking stupid, I was dumb enough to buy it I thought I had a purpose, now I'm wishin' that I tried it I got expectations like a drunk has got his drink Destined for that greatness but the pressure killin' me I'm locked up in the basement, don't you ever bother me I wish I could erase it, all the thoughts and what I think I don't wanna cry for help I don't wanna die this way I'm looking inside myself Never gonna change what's wrong I cover up my feelings, make myself the villain I'm feelin' shit so deep, so I'm better off to kill it I took apart my heart, haven't seen it ever since A machine with broken parts, every word is on a script Every day is borrowed time, I pretend that I'm okay If they saw it through my eyes, maybe everything would change When I think about my history, that's what really gets to me Half of it is tragic, and the other half is slippin' me What's the point of living if it's never good enough I look at my existence, I don't know what I've become Battle my resistance, I could be a better person But this cycle is so vicious, my sins are always lurkin' I don't wanna cry for help I don't wanna die this way I'm looking inside myself Never gonna change what's wrong I don't wanna cry for help I don't wanna die this way I'm looking inside myself Never gonna change what's wrong