Generation Home School

You can't be in the middle, you can't be like a parent who's like my kids fucking suck.

But can you imagine having kids right now, having a nine year old having to homeschool?

(Oh my God) Oh my God is the correct answer.

I can't, like if you're a parent, you can't be like you can't even complain about that.

I would never, I would be so mad if I had a nine year old. I can't have my kids knowing I'm this stupid, that young.

Right, my kid would be like, what's a numerator daddy?

Uhhh, Recess

Daddy, how do you divide fractions, Dinonuggies...lunch. This generation's, they're not going to listen to you.

If you have kids right now, they're going to be fucked up, there's no question.

He's going to be shooting up drugs, you'll be like Tommy no, what the fuck do you know, Dad? You don't even know how to spell restaurant.

If you have kids, I'm sorry, they're going to be fucked up, it's going to be a weird generation, you think it's weird now?

It's going to get weirder. A generation of home schooled kids.

Every one of us knew one home school kid, they're fucking weird.

That's going to be a whole generation, just a bunch of adults walking around with rolling backpacks. Not making eye contact, telling you about Jesus, it's going to be fucking weird.

Did anyone travel during this at all, clap. Okay, All right

The third wave is making sense right now.

I used to travel every week and I judged a city based on their Uber's. That's how I judged the city, that was easy to do because I could just sit back, relax, not talk. New York City has the best Uber's in the country. I don't know if you guys have ever been there. We have rules.

You know, the rules we get in the Uber. We don't speak the whole ride. And then any time the driver speaks to you, you take away a star.

Was that a hello, you're down to four Amir?

Other states don't have rules, so you get in these weird situations, small town Uber is the worst. I was in Appleton, Wisconsin. They have small town Uber, brutal.

They want to get to know you. I got in the Uber. The guy goes, where are we going? I was like, oh, my God.

I literally was like wherever the map says.

He goes, no, where are we going, I go, I'm going to the gym. He goes, What are you working out? I was like, my body, he goes, what body part, I was like, I'm a fat fuck. Is that what you want to hear?

I'm going for an hour and I hate myself an hour from now.

I go to the gym, I leave the gym an hour later, call another Uber, same fucking guy.

He was like, how was the full body work out? I was like, just fucking drive. The worst part of a small town Uber, is they tell you news stories from their town that you don't give a shit about.

But you have to act like, you know, he was talking about Applebee's closing as if Wall Street shut down. He's like the Applebee's closed. I don't know what we're going to do. I was like, you should try Chili's. Pretty much the same.