You Can Call Me Al

A man walks down the street He says, "Why am I soft in the middle, now?" Why am I soft in the middle, now? The rest of my life is so hard I need a photo-opportunity I want a shot at redemption Don't want to end up a cartoon In a cartoon graveyard Bonedigger, Bonedigger Dogs in the moonlight Far away in my well-lit door Mr. Beer-belly, Beer-belly Get these mutts away from me You know, I don't find this stuff amusing anymore If you'll be my bodyguard I can be your long-lost pal I can call you Betty And Betty, when you call me, you can call me Al A man walks down the street He says, "Why am I short of attention?" Got a short little span of attention And, whoa, my nights are so long Where's my wife and family? What if I die here? Who'll be my role model Now that my role model is gone, gone? He ducked back down the alley With some roly-poly little bat-faced girl All along, along There were incidents and accidents There were hints and allegations If you'll be my bodyguard I can be your long-lost pal I can call you Betty And Betty, when you call me, you can call me Al If you'll be my bodyguard I can be your long-lost pal I can call you Betty And Betty, when you call me, you can call me Al, you can call me Al You can call me Al You can call me Al