How to Make a Techno Record

Hey Pete, how do you feel about doing a Techno track on this album?

Well, we've never done a Techno track before but everytime that I'm at the club and I hear a Techno record come on, they all seem to follow the same formula.

Well then lets make a Techno record.

Pete, drop a big fat kick drum on em'

Ok, so what do we gotta do next?

Well you have to think of those people standing in front of those speakers at the club

They obviously want more baseso we gotta give it to them.

Ah, Ah you mean like this?

Now omdon't we need one of those snare rolls that just seems to go on and on and on?

Ya for sure but after that snare roll, you need to say something that's translated horribly to English.

I can feel your dance

Ya that was good but it needs to be a little deeper

I can feel your dance

Na, just a little deeper

I can feel your dance

Wo wo wo too deep man too deep

I can feel your dance

Perfect. Now drop the 80's break on em'

Ya that's pretty bad boy still but you know what?

We need that Zombie Nation baseline

Now Pete, drop a really annoying Techno right over top of it.

And now for the build up we need a snare roll that just goes on way too long

Still going

And still going

And its still going

I can feel your dance

Alright so to recap, we need a big kick drum, two bass lines, an 80's break beat, really really long snare rolls, some annoying techno sinth sounds, ya and we can't forget about the horribly translated English, and that's how you make a techno record.

Hay so you busy now? Wanna go grab a bite to eat?

Ya sure what did you have in mind?

I don't know I kinda feel like a burger.

Ya I'm down with that. Alright, Hey did I tell you about those new shoes that I just picked up?

Which ones man the blue ones?

Ya, those blue ones with the fat laces

Ya those blue ones with the fat laces

Those are pretty awesome.

Ya those are awesome

Ya so a,

You wanna go shopping after we eat?

Ya I'm down with that. How's the new car?

It's good man.

Is it good on gas?

Actually its good on gas. Its kinda shaky though. I don't know what's up with that. I gotta take it in for some service

Ya it probably needs some front end alignment or something.

Ya maybe

Ok lets go then.

Ya lets do it

Alright

Cool

Ya

Did you aleave that snare roll going on back at the studio?

Na I'm pretty sure that I turned it off, or did I? Na na I turned it off for sure.

I can feel your dance.