Flip a coin until the thumbnail is rubbed away

Telling myself there is more to life than these heads or tails outcomes

Said meditate to find inner peace

Pace a perfect circle as blood and pain leave

Learning and ignoring the agony of an empty bed

Slept in the jarring silence

It's a shame how this is secretly weighted

Playing near the trap of inversion

Heads you lose

Tails you win

This is how it's supposed to be

The only way it could ever exist

Heads you win

Tails you lose

It all comes up blank

I swallow what must be hidden hoping assimilation makes me whole

The whole that everyone thinks I am

Smiling under this mask knowing I'm not hiding my face in public

It all comes up blank

I can't be your bastion of sanity