Thumbsucker

I been so down, been so down

I been so down it look like up

So down and yet I couldn't figure what it was

Hit the loud once, world opened up, and still learned none

"Cookie Monster is a prisoner of war" is the kind of poem I like that only God can write

The kind that spells out my life in the simplest terms that suffice

Before I pass the mic I'd like to share some advice:

All you protect yourself from feeling will fuck with your sense of being and become all you can see

A lor **** was C-O-P-I-N-G

By tryna stay out of sight with a thumb between my teeth

Always under my arm was my best friend, Cookie

But my Grandma, I think, feared that it would turn me sweet

I been so down, been so down

I been so down it look like up

So down and yet I couldn't figure what it was

Chris woke up dead then I started to really bug

So depressed I was defunct, asked to see someone, shit a dub

Felt like my folks ain't give no fuck, none of us thought about my thumb

You know what's funny to me, is this lil idea

About Cookie Monster getting tortured tatted on me

Think of Rambo in his flashbacks when he tied to a tree

Emotional assimilation feels similarly

We were apart most of my life, turns out he got took from me

My Grandma gave him back once I secured my bachelors degree

With nothing more than "Well you stopped sucking your thumb, didn't ya?"

It went: Crying

Thumbsucking

Depression

Screaming

Weed

Loud

Depression/Anxiety

420

Therapy

Escitalopram

Bupropion

But yea, I guess I turned out alright in the end

Didn't I?

Didn't I?

(I detest all my discussions of I)

I been so down, been so down

I been so down it look like up

So down and yet I couldn't figure what it was

I did many drugs but never ever rode the bus

No instead a **** de-prioritizes his needs

Disarmed by paranoid delusions that bring him to his knees

Growing out of character is how he spends the time in between

And therefore trapped inside a cycle of constant apology

I been so down

I been so down, so down it look like up