Thrills

Is there something that waits for me?

Is there something I'll regret to see when I'm older and I'll have to recede

Into the background

And how much time will I still be around?

Not as a person but as what I've done in my life

The opportunity is in the air

There's still so much of that

And I gave up already

I enjoy things sometimes

Even my life sometimes

But I see

What my life could be like

I could have a thousand faces

For me it's the way to know myself better

Or at least to feel better in the company around

Then the time comes around and I see

What I'm looooosiiiiing

At one point it never gets different and I die

With so many questions left on my mind

When does life really end?

Is it after death or is it way sooner?

I know I can only see the negatives

But what if it never gets better?

I hate myself for the things I haven't done

But do they really matter?

Will I have the guts to do them though?

Will I?

Ever?

I guess I'll do them later

But what about the things I HAVE done?

Will I mend them later?

After all this comes the time

When people will stop talking to me seriously

And I won't have a chance to change it back anymore

Despair

You're getting old

The opportunity is in the air

There's still so much of that

And I gave up already

I enjoy things sometimes

Even my life sometimes

But I see

What my life could be like

Sometimes

I just can't get over my sadness

Sometimes I hate the others

Even though they are my friends

I don't really wanna end up like this

Fighting reconciliation with fabricated happiness

I know I'm not empty

But I'm scared to look inside