I've been waiting for so many years to hear your voice again

Little did I know how much it would hurt me, I'm feeling lost again

To begin

I didn't ever really understand why it was

You gave up

You did drugs

Was it me? Was it them?

Was it that you didn't want to feel again?

Well, it's time that you grew up

Learn what it means to show love

Don't expect to come back into this life

And assume that everything's alright

It's not

I spent all of my years pretending

I'm healthy

That there's nothing wrong with me

Only to have those walls come crashing down

And I will drown

In silence

This violence

I keep bottled up inside it's

Getting harder to keep the lid closed

I think it's time to unload

Everything that I keep inside

The back of the car I drive

And I've realized

It's time

For me to understand I won't get the answers that I want

It's hard for me to let you back into my heart

I just need to make sure I won't be hurt once again

It's time you show me how you will be well again

I'm getting tired of always staying up every single night just to find that I'm losing sleep

Thinking about all of the things that I've gone through and what it is that you mean to me

Wondering if it was all a dream and if I'm still in it will somebody please

Wake me up?

I'm tired of feeling like I'm numb

I'm tired of feeling like I'm drunk

Like I've got all of these empty bottles spread around me

Wine or whiskey?

See I could be just like you

Back in the days when you'd choose to

Put me to the side like I'm not worth you

What am I to do with that?

I just couldn't understand

Why you wouldn't grab my hand

And pull me up so I don't have to get buried under all this sand

Yeah, well, "Why don't you just grow up and become a man?!"

Well I guess if that is how you feel

Then I'll cut my losses and make you a deal

Leave so I don't have to go back to that

Feeling that I got to hold you up

As you go again to fill your cup

Just so you could feel the rush

Of letting go and holing up

Inside of your mind

Does it feel safe inside?

It's time

For me to understand I won't get the answers that I want

It's hard for me to let you back into my heart

I just need to make sure I won't be hurt once again

It's time you show me how you will be well again

Now I hope that you're still listening to this

There's just a few things that I missed

Like how a lot of the things that I struggle with

I struggle with because you showed me it's

Normal to do

Drink before the Sun hits noon

But I still won't do

Half of the things that I know you did

I won't ever put someone through abandonment

I'll stay by their side, loyal until I die

I couldn't ever be the guy who would give up and say bye

Just because I couldn't change my ways, no mistake

I will always find a way to push through

Anything that I know I'm going through

No one else should have to deal with

All of this hurt that I feel it's

Debilitating

So degrading

Always making

Some snide remark

That I don't deserve to be happy

It's astounding

My heart is pounding

And I can't catch my breath

Until there's nothing left

But despite it all

You'll get another shot

When I feel that I'm ready

I just need you to show me

It's time

For me to understand I won't get the answers that I want

It's hard for me to let you back into my heart

I just need to make sure I won't be hurt once again

It's time you show me how you will be well again