It's me

I've been up too late

I've been checking text, holding my breath till my chest ache

Now my phone's on silent

Nowadays I stay silent

Scared I'm a stay there forever, love

and I'm a little scared you won't mind it

By the way I'm fine just jaded

When I get complicated

Wrote a couple lines just to kill time last night.

Read it back, already, hate it

Wish I could've paced myself stayed stealth with the motion

Cause now each drops like a drop in the ocean

I know I need love but I just want focus

I want to give trust but it still feels stolen, please

So now I stay up late with the lights off

Getting dressed up feeling Mike Ross

Every day's shorts but the nights long, I swear

And maybe I catch up but the line breaks,

Only that song, the crowd rates

I stay quiet or I move fake, it's unfair

Taking no 'ifs' or 'buts'

Swallow the issue like edible tissues, say brodie I wish you luck

I only take half of the praises it hurts me to say that the rest gets chucked

Into the well into the water, pack 'em like shells in the mortar

So tell me what you want then

It's hard to find the words to say

I haven't figured where the time went

And now it's feeling like I'm miles away

I want some peace, I just want quiet

When I'm with you it's like the noise just fades

Till we find ourselves in silence

Till we're scared to even walk away

Hold my breath while I wait for the verdict

Burn my chest till I'm free from the curses

Sweet how vexed when I expect the next best gesture to be more than a burden

I'm waiting. Not more meditating

Funny how the ones who tell be patient, spend the night shaking

And obvi I'm speaking to me.

Copy the con to a T

I'm just afraid I'm staying the same and not gaining the courage to leave

Maybe I'm scared I could fly

Either move forward or die

Holding my actions to laws of attraction that forced me to swallow my pride

Room gets cold when I walk in

Type of shit that makes me want to ghost

Nothings getting clearer in the mirror

Now I'm looking at me like a ghost

Now I'm looking at me like a

Ghost (x5)

Now I'm looking at me like a

Ghost (x5)

Type of shit that makes me want to

Ghost (x5)

Now I'm looking at me like a

Ghost (x6)

I want to make it better,

Know it gets worse with every verse

And no I'm not being clever

I can not rehearse, being on the verge

of losing myself to everyone else

And trapped all my essence to keep on a shelf

It's planned obsolescence I've built up myself,

So as soon as I'm living for me, you can leave

And I get it, I get it, I get it now

Dropped in the water I let it down

Having these chats with my inner child

And he's angry I'm letting these feeling out

But he's happy he doesn't hold them

Happy he isn't "Holden"

Thinking of when it was golden,

and hoping those moments stay frozen

And I know that they will...

I try to touch it but I feel the chill

Happy it hurts so that I know that it's real

Happy it hurts so that I know that it's real

I know that I will,I try to touch it but I feel the chill

Happy it hurts so that I know that it's real

Happy it hurts so that I know that it's real