Lovin' Machine

I'm an ugly duckling, could never get a man Tried beauty treatments, took vitamins by the can I got so disgusted, I built me a loving machine For the nickel and the slide, you hear some buzzing Kisses, while they're high, five cents a dozen Don't need a man, got something you've never seen I'm well satisfied since I built me that loving machine Pull the lever on the right, two arms jump out Break all around, you make you scream and shout Oh, little man, got something you've never seen I'm well satisfied, since I built me that loving machine Put a quarter in the slot, the thing lights up Out comes your love and in a dixie cup Don't need a man, got something you've never seen I'm well satisfied, since I built me that loving machine I'd love you all day if you feel run down Don't have to worry running all over town When my machine shuts off, that ain't all Out comes a bottle of alcohol I'm well fortified since I built me that loving machine