Whether I'm hurtling down

A pit of doom,

Or just on my porch

As mushroom clouds break into view,

I know there's a canine

On which we can rely.

They're gonna make

Everything all right.

I want a dog like Max!

Solving crimes and saving lives,

I want a dog like Max!

Making sure the kids are fed and in bed on time.

Max has got something to say:

"Something's wrong down at the nickel arcade!"

Throw out your phone and your business slacks,

Let's go hang out with Max.

I want a dog like

Fifteen minutes ago

On a night just like this,

A pale horse walked across a blood red sky

And Baphomet was taking a ride.

There were infestations across the nation,

Plagues at an all time high!

And all the power went out,

So everything at walmart is free now.

But none of this occurs to me,

When my best buddy's sitting at my feet.

I want a dog like Max!

Solving crimes and saving lives,

I want a dog like Max!

Making sure the kids are fed and in bed on time.

Max has got something to say:

"Something's wrong down at the nickel arcade!"

The lord of evil has awoken.

Leave thoughts unthought and words unspoken.

Let's go hang out with Max,

Let's sit back and relax,

'cause no one can call us,

And we can't go to work if we don't have our pants.

I want a dog like Max!

I want a dog like Max!

I want a dog like Max!

I want a dog like Max!

I WANT A DOG LIKE