Do I keep secrets, or do they keep me?

Let me explain what I mean when I say

I never thought that I'd end up here

Driving in circles and eating when I'm full

Just to fill the years

I'm down, and I'm out, then I'm down again

I'll go for a walk when my head starts to spin

I could list every crime, every wandering eye

All the hands I didn't want near me

But it's not that easy

Do I keep secrets, or do they keep me?

Will I be quiet for eternity?

I'd go swimming in my bed with words I left unsaid

Let them drown me out

I'll do wrong on purpose

Pretend I'm not nervous

For when my head hits the ground

I am older but I'm none the wiser

And I'm nauseous from all the reminders

I will not come to terms, I would rather eat dirt

Then admit the things that I see in my sleep

On my knees 'til I bleed

Do I keep secrets, or do they keep me?

And can you tell that I'm lying through my teeth?

Send me out to space

Where everything is quiet

I'll burst into flames

And I'll like it

All the quiet