Oh, I came across a lovely lass
(Shimmy-i-shimmy-i-o)
A farmer's daughter with some sass
(Shimmy-i-shimmy-i-o)
Oh, I begged her to let me spend the night
She answered "No," so I wandered home
That's when my bald man cried
When you're patting the bunny or flickin' the bean
Or strumming' the ol' clamjoe
When they can't keep up, just touch your stuff
Don't make his bald man cry
When you're burpin' the worm
Or butterin' your muffin
Or spankin' the monkey
Or in a menage a moi
When your meat's in heat and you need release
That's when you need to grip it, whip it
And make the bald man cry
